ISSN: 1913-1917
April 2008 Issue
IN THIS ISSUE:
Feature Article:
-- It's Okay, We All Have Them: Sex Dreams
Cross Cultural Dreaming:
-- Universal Dreaming
Famous Dreams:
-- Asia Argento - Vin Diesel sex dream
-- Mae West's Sex Dream
Readers Dreams & Analysis:
-- Sex With My Best Friend
Symbol of The Month:
-- Kissing
Reader Comments:
--
From The Editor:
--Ooops, a change in content
Submission Instructions:
--See bottom of newsletter
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Quote of the Month
Dreams say what they mean, but they don't say it in daytime language.
--Gail Godwin
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Feature Article:
I had been planning to dedicate this month's issue to paranormal dreams, but as happens, circumstances transpired to change things on me. I had several inquires regarding sexual dreams. One very upset dreamer called me all the way from the U.S. to ask me about her very disturbing sex-oriented dreams. I then had two email requests and one fax on the same subject...And as it happens, I have been working on a series of guides on different areas of dreaming, and I had begun with a guide on sex dreams. So here we are today (and over a week late) going in a different direction.
One of the most asked questions I receive is about sex dreams and what they mean. You'd be surprised how frightening these types of dreams can be for people. Dreamers may dream of killing their neighbor's yappy poodle or dreaming of being in a car crash. They don't take these dreams literally, but as soon as they dream of having sex with their boss, BAM, they start panicking.
If your sex dreams leave you dazed and confused, or shocked and embarrassed, you're not alone. The good news is that usually there's more than meets the eye. Sexual dreams shouldn't be immediately interpreted as literal expressions of desire, or premonitions of future events. Almost all sex dreams are metaphorical and rarely about sex at all.
Dreams of a sexual nature are common among people of all age groups, cultural backgrounds and faiths. And every one of us has had (or will have) a sexual dream at one time or another. Whether your dream was exotic and wild, strange and unsettling, or gentle and romantic, there’s a reason why you had this particular dream at this particular time.
Your most erotic, and explicit XXX dream scenes probably have nothing to do with sex at all. “Sexual dreams reveal your desires and anxieties,” says Gillian Holloway, PhD, author of Erotic Dreams. “Your subconscious uses these raw, lustful situations to sort out emotions you may not be confronting in waking life.” Sex dreams shouldn't disturb us, but rather they should be seen as a call for introspection and a deeper look at what they're re-presenting.
Often sexual dreams are just a medium to understand your inner self, desire or even passion, which is absent from the conscious level of the mind due to external factors such as suppression or the fact that sex is still a somewhat tabooed topic. Sexual dreams are rarely literal. Though you might hope that last night's dream of you and Drew Barrymore was a precognitive dream, a view of future events, it probably wasn't. Sex dreams, and most dreams for that matter, are symbolic and metaphorical. They give you a picture, an image, of what a situation is like or can be compared to. If, in your dream, you're feeling pressured to have sex, take a look at your waking life and ask yourself where you're feeling pressured or by whom.
Sexual dreams can provide the dreamer with a neutral space where she can go beyond her inhibitions and overcome her fears regarding sex or certain behaviors. Quite often, these behavioral changes that the dreamer reluctant to adopt in waking life, manifests in dreams and in many cases is a precursor to or sign for changes to follow. These types of dreams may also be a means to compensate for what is lacking in waking life. To take an example, there was a saint who had renounced everything, followed austerity and shunned women. He started having recurring erotic dreams and was confused at his response. A closer look by a counselor revealed that this was his way of balancing his inner and outer self. The dreams in question were his way of fulfilling his sexual needs and yet still remain celibate in.
A sexual dream featuring you and someone you share a platonic relationship with might hint at further cementing of the close relationship with that person. If such a dream involves a person you're not too fond of, the implication may be that it's time to reexamine your relationship and behavior with him or her, and perhaps to moderate your negative feelings about them. When a heterosexual person dreams of intimacy with a person of the same sex, there's no need for alarm. It might be your ‘shadow’ urging you to take note of certain aspect of your life, or the dream may be urging you to seek out more female (or male) companionship.
Dreams should always be understood in their context. If a person dreams of having sex in a car, it might imply that he wants to own the car—sex becomes a symbol for ownership, or that his relationships are transient. The way a dream makes you feel and its correlation with some incident in your current life or recent past will help in understanding it and its message. Dreams have several layers of meaning, and the meaning often changes over time, and with every additional reading. Always keep an open mind when exploring your sex dreams. The message you are being given may be a spiritual, psychological, physical or material one… or it might be all four.
Dream Well,
Terry
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Cross-Cultural Dreaming:
Every culture, every faith, and every normal, healthy human being on this planet experiences (or will experience) sex dreams. However, most modern, Western societies frown upon discussing such topics. There are, however, some cultures where sex dreams are valued and held in high regard, where they and share openly and freely. For instance, the Senoi, an indigenous tribe in the mountainous jungles in Malaysia, greatly respect sex dreams and enjoy having them.
The Senoi embrace love and sex in their dreams as well as in their waking lives. In one of the writings of Jill Morris she states that, "When the Senoi had pleasurable, sexual dreams, they were taught to move toward the loving objects and then enjoy them to the fullest. They were also encouraged to have orgasms in their dreams. It didn't matter who or what the loving object was, it could be a relative, a friend's spouse, an animal or an inanimate object. After reaching orgasm, the dreamer would ask the dream lover for a gift."
In Hindu cultures, sexuality is celebrated freely and openly, and the sexual act itself symbolizes the creative process. There are strong cultural precedents for the sexual act as a stand-in for the creative process. For example, the erotic sculptures that adorn the exterior of many Hindu temples refer not simply to the union of male and female but to wholeness within the self and to the marriage between earth and sky, mortal and divine, spirit and matter.
The Iroquois believed that it was necessary to re-enact the dream in order to alleviate physical and psychic distress. They believed it was very important to gratify the soul's desire either literally or symbolically. It was therefore not unheard of for a male, after dreaming of a group orgy, to request that his dream be acted out with the help of the tribe.
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Famous Dreams:
In August 2002, Asia Argento confessed that she often had XXX-rated dreams. "Many wet dreams," she explained, "all the time, very sexual dreams." She also had dreams about her XXX co-star, Vin Diesel. These dreams however, she was quick to point out, were always perfectly dry!
["Magical, dreamy dreams, symbolic dreams," she said of her Diesel encounters. "Once I saw his soul and I was in awe of him." (Argento, naturally, preferred the wet kind.)]
Argento, Aria [born Asia Anna Maria Vittoria Rossa] ["Az" "Silver Gems"] (1975- ) Italian actress [noted for her roles in various films]
[Sources: Rolling Stone, August 2002]
Mae West once claimed that her first erotic dream was of a bear with a reddish-brown member about fourteen inches long. "I was," she later quipped, "modest in my demands."
[West enjoyed receiving dirty fan mail, especially pictures of naked, well-endowed men.]
West, Mae (1892-1980) American sex symbol and actress [noted for such classic lines as "Come up and see me some time" and "Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"; for her roles in such films as She Done Him Wrong (1933), Klondyke Annie (1936), and My Little Chickadee (1939); and for her autobiography, Goodness Has Nothing to Do with It]
[Sources: Carol Amende, If You Don't Have Anything Nice to Say... Come Sit Next to Me]
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Reader’s Dream & Analysis:
I dreamt that me and my best friend (a girl) were having sex.
The dreamer a young lady, assured me that she was heterosexual, and she was a virgin as well, so she was very disturbed by what this dream might be telling her.
Interpretation:
First of all, we have to remember that sex dreams rarely have anything to do with sex at all. And because I don't have many details, I can only do a very generic type of analysis, but here goes.
This is a young woman who has yet to experience the intimacy and passion of a sexual relationship. Therefore, the dream message is probably not pointing to anything sex related but rather to a close, fulfilling or dependent relationship.
The dreamer is having a very intimate and (usually) private experience with someone she cares about. Sex in dreams is often a metaphor for union, or the coming together of two opposites, or two individual somethings. Here, the dreamer may be wanting to acquire some characteristic she admires that her friend possesses. She may need to adopt a more feminine attitude or perspective, or simply may need more female companionship.
Often sex is a metaphor for a connective dialogue, or ‘intercourse’ between the two polarized levels of the mind itself —the conscious mind and the unconscious mind—or between the inner and outer realities we must find a way to live in. It simply means that they’re connected to each other and interacting with each other. Information is flowing between them. However in this case, the dreamer is dialoguing with another feminine aspect, perhaps her higher and lower Selves are working together for her growth into adulthood.
On the other hand, if she has a negative view of sex and sexuality, her dream may be letting her know that she has done something she feels ashamed of, or she considers wrong or sinful.
And last but not least, the dream may simply be preparing her for a waking life sexual experience. And perhaps, because she doesn't have a current boyfriend, her best friend is used as a placeholder –someone the dreamer loves, respects and trusts.
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Symbol of the Month:
Dream kisses are pretty much still kisses, though what kind of kiss and what the experience of the dream kiss was may vary greatly.
In waking life, kisses are ways in which we humans show our affection, or love for one another. The kiss is often the most intimate of human activities, sometimes considered more intimate than sexual intercourse. It is pretty much common knowledge that prostitutes rarely kiss their clients on the mouth as kissing is a show
of love and the act occurring there is meant to be little more than a business transaction.
However, in waking life kisses may also be acts of betrayal such as the betrayal of Christ by the kiss of Judas.
A kiss may also mark the beginning of the end of something, an action that marks the person or project's demise as in 'the kiss of death'.
In fairy tales, kisses take on a much more archetypal meaning. Sleeping Beauty and Snow White were both retrieved from the land of death by a kiss. The frog becomes the prince from a transformational kiss. Kissing in fairy tales is much more than the simple momentary conjoining of lips. In that world the kiss is associated with rebirth of some sort, either physical, psychological or spiritual.
In dreams, kisses may be of the simple variety or the complex kind. They may be symbols of transformation, rebirth, or the rekindling of a relationship or project—a ‘breath of new life’ delivered via the lips.
Look at who's involved in the kissing dream, what kind of kiss is being bestowed as well as your emotional response to the kiss. Is the kiss a simple peck on the cheek from a relative? This type of kiss could signify a need for, or actual, approval from people in authority or parental type figures. If you are shying away from the kiss it might mean that you're feeling smothered by those in authority or are feeling like you are being made to feel childish.
Kissing someone with whom you're involved can indicate either a desire for closeness if it is missing, or may be an expression of deep affection for that person even on an unconscious level.
Dreams of kissing someone of the same sex when one is a heterosexual can indicate a need for self-love or may indicate approval of self.
If you are kissing someone you don't feel any kind of attraction to, or if the kiss is unwanted or leaves you with uncomfortable emotions, the dream may indicate feelings of betrayal as forced kissing is a violation of intimacy. These are the Judas-type kisses, the kisses that indicate you're feeling overwhelmed or over-pressured by someone or something in your life. Look at who is involved in the kiss to provide a clue to who or what the situation is.
The longing expressed in a kissing dream may be for love and intimacy, but it can also express longing for something missing in other areas of your life. For example, if one dreams of kissing an actor it can be a play on words, it can mean one is longing for the ability to take action in some area of one’s life.
Sometimes kissing can represent a longing for something that is missing. Are you kissing some unattainable crush? This type of dream may be a dream of wish fulfillment with the unconscious mind supplying that which the waking world doesn't.
Other Possible Meanings:
Kissing someone you like and want may simply be wish fulfillment.
Kissing a faceless person can be demonstrating that your basic desire/s is being met.
Kissing someone you know casually and not romantically may represent recognition of harmonious vibrations.
Kissing a celebrity may be suggesting that you need to, or are trying to boost your self worth.
Kisses with adulterous passionate overtones depending on if you already have a mate, may mean that it's time to spice up the romance. If you don't, it's probably your wish for romance surfacing.
Kissing is the start of passion for just about any age group. Whether it's young lovers stealing a kiss at the end of a date, or a married couple kissing tenderly on their 10th anniversary, a kiss is most often about love and passion and tenderness.
A kiss from a lover, under happy circumstances, presages happiness and contentment.
A kiss from a stranger implies an unexpected gift.
A kiss can represent affection, joy, coming success, or a wish to be close to someone.
A kiss from a lover, under happy circumstances, presages happiness and contentment.
A kiss from a stranger implies an unexpected gift.
An unwanted kiss indicates upcoming overtures from someone the dreamer does not like.
If you're kissing a close friend, then it represents your respect and adoration for your friend. You're seeking some intimate closeness that is lacking in some waking relationship. It may or may not signify a romantic interest for him or her.
To dream of kissing a person on the neck denotes passionate inclinations and weak mastery of self.
To dream that you are kissing someone's hand, signifies respect.
If you dream of kissing an enemy, you will make advance towards reconciliation with an angry friend.
To dream of kissing the earth denotes that you'll experience emotional setbacks.
To see others kissing in your dream suggests that you are too involved in their personal lives and relationship. You need to give them some space.
Kissing is usually an indication of warmth, affection, and happiness. If you don't receive enough love and affection in your daily life, then this could be a compensatory dream, where the dreamer is comforting himself.
If the kissing was pleasant, proper and a sincere token of affection, it predicts happiness and contentment.
But if it was of a perfunctory, meaningless, insincere or illicit nature, it signifies a false friend or disappointment in a love affair.
A kiss may also denote bonding or sharing, an expression of appreciation or love, passion, failing to deal with something --procrastinating, kissing it off-- betrayal or the kiss of death .
A kiss can often mean that something is about to or is coming to an end. Does if feel like a kiss good-bye?
If you're passionately kissing a stranger, try to get a sense of what attracted you to them. Whatever the individual symbolizes indicates what you want more of in your life.
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Readers Comments:
No comments this issue
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From The Editor:
I just want to say thank you to readers that have sent me emails and whom I have begun a lasting (hopefully) relationship with. It's always rewarding to hear from readers.
Next issue will be focused on precognitive/psychic dreaming, so stay tuned. It'll be an interesting issue.
Talk to you next month,
Dream Well,
Terry
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